18. Can We Talk About What's Actually Exhausting You?

You know that feeling when you finally hit "submit" on a self-tape and breathe a sigh of relief...

Only for your brain to immediately start replaying every choice you made?

The replaying. The overanalyzing. The refreshing your inbox. The wondering if one audition somehow says something about your talent.

In this episode, we're talking about the post-audition spiral and why so many actors get stuck carrying the audition long after it's over. I'll share a personal story, a mindset shift that changed everything for me, and why you can care deeply about your acting career without making every audition responsible for your self-worth.

If you've ever struggled to let an audition go, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

The Post Audition Autopsy

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Actors, myself included, we will literally send a self-tape and then spend the next three days conducting a forensic investigation on every single choice that we made, trying to pinpoint if we made the correct decision. It's so easy for our bodies to step away from the physical experience of an audition, but it's a lot harder for our mind. And a lot of actors think that they are exhausted from acting, but what they are actually exhausted from is from carrying that audition around long after the audition has ended. Because you're not just auditioning, you're constantly evaluating yourself. At the end of the day, an audition is a performance opportunity and it's a booking opportunity. It was never supposed to become a referendum for your worth.

Welcome To The Mindset Work

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Hey Unstoppable Actor. Welcome to the Unstoppable Actor Mindset Podcast. I'm your host, Meg Salisbury, actress, model, and mindset coach for actors. This podcast is all about the inner work behind building a sustainable acting career. Because while talent matters, the inner work you do behind the scenes is just as important as the work you do on camera or on stage. The way you think, the habits you build, and the courage it takes to keep showing up, even in the face of rejection, shapes the careers we create. Each episode, you'll explore practical mindset tools, honest conversations, and the habits that will create real momentum in your acting career. If you're ready to strengthen your mindset and keep moving forward, you're in the right place. Let's get to work.

The Mini Series Promise

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Oh my god, it has been too long. Welcome back, guys, to Unstoppable Actors. We're actually gonna do a mini-series over the next couple weeks. We're gonna have some honest conversations about the things that nobody really teaches actors. Not acting technique, not self-tapes, not how to cry on cue. We are talking about the stuff that happens around acting. The overthinking after auditions, the rejection, the waiting, the self-doubt, the pressure to constantly prove yourself, and the exhausting belief that confidence is somehow hiding behind the next booking. Because after working with actors and being an actor myself, I've realized something. Talent is rarely the thing that's holding actors back. It's the relationship they have with themselves while they're building the career. So throughout the series, we're gonna talk about self-trust, confidence, rejection, emotional resilience, nervous system safety, and what it actually means to build a sustainable acting career from the inside out. And my hope is by the end of this mini-series, you will feel less alone, more grounded, and a lot more empowered to show up as the actor that you already are. So if you've ever felt exhausted by the emotional roller coaster that is this industry, you are in the right place. Let's get into it. But first, I missed you guys. I missed you guys so freaking much, y'all. I missed you so freaking much. Quick update we've booked a few gigs, which has been fantastic. I actually need to make a completely different episode about this, but I actually dropped an agent, um, purposefully, let me say. But that's a story for another episode because that's a that's a long and grueling story, and I think it's an important one to share with you. And life has been good. I've been building this really cool new offer for you guys. I'm excited to share it. We have some guest episodes coming out in the next couple months. It's gonna be great. But before we get too off track here, let's talk about what's on the docket for today.

The Relief Then The Spiral

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Can we talk about what is actually exhausting you in your acting career? Have you ever noticed that sometimes the audition itself isn't the hardest part? You know that short-lived relief you feel right after you complete an audition. You've got yourself all set and prepped to do your audition, you filmed your audition, maybe you're feeling a little bit of nerves, maybe you're feeling some overwhelm. You finish recording, you edit, you send in the tape, and you feel that like immediate relief that you have finally completed the audition. But then 20 minutes later, the spiral begins. The replaying, the overanalyzing, the wondering if you made the wrong choice, the checking your email every seven minutes, even though you know casting hasn't emailed you because it's 10 p.m. on a Sunday. Actors, myself included, we will literally send a self-tape and then spend the next three days conducting a forensic investigation on every single choice that we made, trying to pinpoint if we made the correct

Your Nervous System Stays On

SPEAKER_00 5:02

decision. Here's the first point that I want to talk about today is the audition ends, but your nervous system really doesn't. Most of the time, physically leave an audition or physically leave our self-tape setup, but we are still mentally staying there. I'm sure you've experienced replaying scenes in the shower, or replaying did I make a too risky of a choice while you're laying in bed trying to fall asleep, or imagining like these alternate versions of how you could have done it right or better, or creating stories about why you didn't get a callback. That's a big one. I wasn't the right fill in the blank. It's so easy for our bodies to step away from the physical experience of an audition, but it's a lot harder for our mind. And a lot of actors think that they are exhausted from acting, but what they are actually exhausted from is from carrying that audition around long after the audition has ended. Does this sound like you? Because you're not just auditioning, you're constantly evaluating

Making Every Outcome Mean Something

SPEAKER_00 6:08

yourself. It's really hard for our brains to live in uncertainty. So what our brain does to cope with that is make everything mean something. And by that I mean we as actors tend to make every audition mean something about us. I didn't book. Am I good enough? I didn't get a callback. Am I talented enough? I haven't booked in a couple months. Do I even belong in this industry? This is a perpetual cycle that becomes exhausting, especially if you're auditioning multiple times a week. Think about how much time your brain is wasting trying to connect mental dots that aren't even in the same graph. We're ridiculous, right? At the end of the day, an audition is a performance opportunity and it's a booking opportunity. It was never supposed to become a referendum for your worth.

Trained For Emotional Survival Mode

SPEAKER_00 7:01

But if you're falling into this category and you're feeling very seen and very heard right now, this is not your fault. The industry really trains us to live in an emotional survival mode. Waiting for emails, waiting for callbacks, waiting for approval, waiting for agents, waiting for opportunities. All this waiting leads to accidentally training ourselves to live in a constant state of anticipation. And your body doesn't know the difference between a tiger chasing you in the wild and a career that constantly feels uncertain.

Ariel Audition And The Crash

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Story time! I remember this specific audition in college that I was kind of obsessed with booking. Let's get into the nitty-gritty details. We're talking about Ariel from Little Mermaid, and this was when I was in college. I was on my summer break at home, community theater. I was like, I'm absolutely gonna book this. I spent five months pre-the audition with my voice teacher, perfecting part of your world, which was the audition material. Really put my heart and soul into this audition. Do you not see Ariel when you look at me? Like Disney princess, like I just felt like I was the perfect person for it. You know, in my high school career, I never really booked a lead role. I felt like this was me coming home and kind of like showing what I had learned in college, showing what a good actor I was, and really making it mean something much more than just booking the gig. Fast forward to the audition, I'm sitting in the waiting room. The girl before me goes in, and she's in there for quite a long time, like a half hour. And I was like, that's a really long time just to sing a song and do a scene. Once she comes out, I go in, nail part of your world, put my heart and soul into that scene and that audition. I get in my car, I'm leaving the audition, I get a call from the director, so I know that they've cast and they've made their decision, and he offers me the role of a Murr sister. I was devastated. Devastated, y'all. Devastated. Because I had made that audition mean something way more than just the audition. I had made that audition mean redemption, and when I didn't book it, I was understandably upset.

Care Deeply Without Making It Worth

SPEAKER_00 9:29

But what I want you to take from the story is that you're not broken, you're just experiencing a very predictable response to an unpredictable industry. Let me say that again. You're just experiencing a very predictable response to an unpredictable industry. And now the goal isn't to care less. I don't want you to stop caring. I don't want you to stop wanting it. I don't want you to stop being emotional. You can care really deeply about your career without making every audition responsible for your emotional well-being. And that is gold right there. And honestly, this is one of the biggest reasons that I created the Unstoppable Actor. Not because actors need more talent and not because they need more technique, but because so many incredibly talented actors are carrying the emotional weight of this industry completely alone. And if auditions weren't emotionally draining all of your energy afterwards, what would become possible for you? Because I have a feeling that auditions aren't what's draining your energy.

Share, Connect, And Final Reminder

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Thank you so much for spending this time with me on Unstoppable Actor Mindset. If this episode resonated with you, feel free to share it with a fellow actor who might need to hear it too. If you'd like to keep exploring these ideas, you can listen to more episodes of the podcast, read deeper reflections on the Unstoppable Actor blog, or follow along on social media at Meg Salisbury Creative, where I share more tools and behind-the-scenes moments of life as an actor. And if you want these conversations delivered straight to your inbox, you can also join my email newsletter, The Unstoppable Actor Insider. As an insider, you'll be the first to hear about updates or special offers or new resources designed to support your acting career. And don't forget, the inner work you do behind the scenes is just as important as the work you do on camera or on stage. Next booking? Watch out, because here you come.